August’s Question of the Month is brought to you by Brandon from That Green Dude: niche Japanese video game lover, martial arts movie watcher and a blogger who isn’t giving up on his dreams. To find out more about him and his site, as well as how you can get involved, take a look at this post.
Family: they’re the people who look after us, show us wrong from right and teach us how to love. They’re the dearest we share special moments with, seek out when we need support and run to when we need a shoulder to cry on. They can also be those bloody annoying people who drink milk straight out of the bottle, leave the toilet-seat up and don’t take the rubbish out – but we wouldn’t have them any other way.
Or would we? The latest Question of the Month challenge gives us the opportunity to consider who’d be a part of our video game family if we had the opportunity to choose. Imagine switching a quiet day at the park to adventuring through the wilderness with dad, or leaving a boring Sunday dinner behind for a dangerous and enemy-filled quest with mum! As much as I care for my own family, here are those characters I’d choose to create my new and strange brood.
Dad: the Hero from the Fable series
If you’re having problems with a bully at school, never fear: just let them know your dad is one of the most formidable Heroes of all time and a master of Strength, Skill and Will. The threat of him turning up at the gates in his armour and wielding Avo’s Tear will be enough to turn even the meanest pupil into your new best friend! His powerful presence is sure to make those troublesome teacher’s reports and pesky parents evenings go much more smoothly too.
When you’re old enough, he’d be the one to take you out to get your first tattoo (just don’t let him pick the Howl design out for you unless you’re prepared to obliterate your Attractiveness stat). He’s also fond of a beer so you can bond with dear old dad over a pint or several – although I’m not sure mum would be best pleased when you come home together drunk after accomplishing The Drinking Game achievement and throwing up all over the bathroom.
Mum: Elaine Marley from the Monkey Island series
Elaine is the perfect role-model for any daughter because she’s not a stereotypical damsel-in-distress. She’s far more capable than that: resourceful, intelligent and completely able to handle herself and escape from any situation. Guybrush and LeChuck may not be amused when they find out she has deserted them both for the Hero, but with parents like these you’d be sure to develop into an upstanding citizen (or possibly a drunken pirate).
She’s was also the Governor of the Tri-Island Area before she handed her gubernatorial duties back to her grandfather so surely that’s got to leave her with access some appealing perks? Queue six-week cruises around the Caribbean on her ship with a crew, soaking up the sun while sunbathing on the white sands of Monkey Island, and partaking in a spot of Insult Sword Fighting with swashbucklers who fight like cows. Sounds like an amazing summer holiday to me.
Sibling: Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn
Sorry to my own brother: I always wanted a sister growing up so I’ve taken the opportunity to give myself one today. After all, Aloy has plenty of qualities that would make her an amazing sibling and she’s someone you can’t help but admire. She laughs at anyone who doubts her skill because of her age or gender; tells men her ‘eyes are up here’; questions the rights of the matriarchs to take power simply because they’ve had children; and pulls apart any stupid traditions that don’t make sense.
When she’s not rappelling down huge mountains, sliding into patches of grass or going head-to-head with ferocious mechanical monsters without even breaking a sweat, she could spend some quality time with her dear sister. She could teach me how to do my hair because I wish I was able to come out of any situation looking as immaculate as she does; and she loves a bit of technology, so I’m sure she’d enjoy some co-op video gaming on the sofa.
Pets: Minions from the Overlord series
As much as I love cats and was tempted to pick a Felyne from the Monster Hunter series (because they’re fluffy and can totally cook), I thought I’d go for something a little more dastardly. The Minions may not be the cutest of pets but they’re kind of sweet in their own way; you can’t fail to laugh when they get excited at the sight of ‘Sheepies!’, wear broken pumpkins or flower-pots for helmets, or steal all the beer and get drunk (just don’t let your parents see them weeing all over the carpet).
They’re loyal too and will follow your every command whether it’s a request for them to fight, ransack homes or smash containers… and anything else that looks breakable for that matter. You might get a few odd looks from dog-walkers when you take them out for walkies but that’s because they’re just jealous: they wish they had pets that brought them loot rather than sticks or newspapers. Just be careful your Minions don’t end up eating their Chihuahuas or it could get a bit messy.
So there you have it: my weird little video game family. I’ll make sure you all get an invitation to our next barcecue.